An important tool you can use to bring your pleasure into balance is owning your feelings and desires. Before every action there is feeling and desire. When you own your desires it is easy to trust and take action on your desire. When your desire is hijacked by guilt, shame, trauma, you get the message that there is something wrong with your desire; that it is dangerous, bad or scary. Then since these feelings are experienced in your body, it is a common reaction to then “run away” from home ( your body) and disown these feelings and desires.
The problem is that when you leave, these “bad” desires and feelings become blocks and barriers to you being at home and feeling your ecstatic pleasure.
I unknowingly did this growing up. I “escaped” the trauma of my brother drowning and angry, wounded parents by escaping into books and imagination. When I was yelled at I could detach and not feel anything. Everything looked fuzzy and I felt like I was far away.
The most powerful way I know to come back home to your pleasure and bring these back into balance is to create safety for your body to feel, heal and allow pleasure in.
The exercises I’ve been sharing with you are designed to empower you to reconnect with your senses and come home to your body. They are exercises I continue to use to deepen my journey into pleasure and use with my clients to empower them to come home to themselves.
Here is an exercise you can use to begin to own your feelings and desires and restore them to love and pleasure.
**I’ve invited you to share about your desire to be here exploring pleasure. Check in to see whether that is a desire that feels good. If not, I encourage you to start with a desire you are comfortable with or have fun with to make it easy to come home to pleasure.
Home in Your Body with Your Feelings and Desires Journal exercise
1) Invite yourself and your body to feel at home.
a. Find a safe, comfortable, pleasurable place to be where you wont’ be disturbed or if you like you can have a supportive loved one there or nearby ( i.e. your pleasure altar)
a. Find a safe, comfortable, pleasurable place to be where you wont’ be disturbed or if you like you can have a supportive loved one there or nearby ( i.e. your pleasure altar)
– Set the stage to engage all of your senses with pleasure.
( i.e. light a candle, play song you love, wear outfit you love, essential oil, you can put something delicious to taste there or eat something nourishing and delicious before you start)
( i.e. light a candle, play song you love, wear outfit you love, essential oil, you can put something delicious to taste there or eat something nourishing and delicious before you start)
b. Anchor your body in safety with nature
– bring your hand to your heart, cradle your heart
– breath in from your crown( top of your head) to your heart
( envision you’re breathing love in as the warm sun shining down through you)
( envision you’re breathing love in as the warm sun shining down through you)
-exhale down and into the ground
-feel the ground under your feet/body holding you
( envision mother earth lovingly holding you)
Notice what you are aware of experiencing in your body; thoughts, emotions, sensations
Allow your breath to be drawn to what you notice in your body, to all the spaces that are calling for attention and care. Take your time here and allowing your body time to receive attention and care.
c. Awaken your senses and your body’s ability to nurture, love and balance itself
– Continue to notice what you are aware of experiencing.
– Invite each sense to awaken. Take 3 breaths for each.
– Continue to notice what you are aware of experiencing.
– Invite each sense to awaken. Take 3 breaths for each.
See, Listen, Smell, Touch, Taste
– Experience them in concert together . Take 3 breaths to breath them all in
– Feel mother earth holding you in your pleasure.
– Now embark on your journey.
2) Take a moment to look at and write down the desires that inspired you to be here reading this today?
What desire’s inspired you to:
get Sheri’s Book?
join this 21 Day Journey?
open this email today?
i.e. I desire to be a sex- virtuouso
I desire to find a partner
I desire to have a passionate relationship with my partner and heal are love life.
State: These are my desires in this moment My desires belong to me.
3) Now notice what feelings arise with the desire.
i.e. I feel sad because I don’t have a partner/ passionate relationship
I feel excited about the possibility
I feel guilty and ashamed because I think I should know how to already.
State: These are my feelings in this moment. My feelings belong to me.
4) Notice where you feel them in your body and own it. Celebrate/comfort what you find.
– Bring your hands to what you notice or just hold your heart to anchor
State: I invite love in to all I feel
State: I invite love in to all I feel
– Inhale in to what you notice.
Take 3x breath ( you can do body as a whole or go through with each part you notice)
Take 3x breath ( you can do body as a whole or go through with each part you notice)
– Allow the sun to shine down on and the earth to hold and nurture what you notice.
Take 3x breath
Invite pleasure and comfort in through your senses
( envision it flowing in through all 5 of you sensory pathways.)
– Start with 3 breaths and allow your body the time to take in what it is ready to receive.
– When you are ready to end…
5) Ground your body in pleasure and care and journal about your experience
– Feel the ground holding you. Notice the weight of your bones.
– Feel the ground holding you. Notice the weight of your bones.
– Feel gravity holding you in care
– Take a breath in from your crown and exhale down into the earth
– on exhale, press your hands and or feet down into the earth
– Take your time shifting from inner awareness to notice the space around you.
– Notice what you’re aware of as you look around
-Journal about your experience. Note what you felt and are feeling now.
– Tend to your body; if you’re hungry, eat, if you’re thirsty, drink, if you’re tired, rest, if you feel like dancing…go for it!
– Engage with nature to root your experience
Go out for a walk, sit in or look out at nature. Sit with a plant. Pet a puppy (cat, dog, etc)
Be gentle with yourself.
Be gentle with yourself.
Remember that your pleasure is a journey, not a destination.
If things come up, allow yourself care. Give yourself permission to receive support from nature and from people you trust. Your feelings are your strength, especially the ones that feel big and overwhelming. Your vulnerability, your tears, your anger are powerful pleasure guides. They wisely bring your attention to where care is called for.
Start with the support of the earth. Feel her hold you and keep bringing your attention to her, each morning and throughout your day. She holds your every step, dance, play and sleep.
Feel the support of your senses, feelings and desires that are finely tuned to guide you to pleasure and let you know if there’s a block or area that needs attention.
Don’t hesitate to reach out for support if big feelings and blocks are coming up on this journey. Getting support and learning how to feel safe in my body was the best gift I gave myself.
Last celebrate the pleasure you find!